You are a family member

As family members, brothers, uncles, grandfathers, or father figures, you have the ability to positively influence your younger male family members.  Promoting gender equality and teaching the young boys in your life about healthy equal relationships helps you do your part in building healthy families and strengthening family bonds.

Tips

Be an involved family member and an exemplary role model. Here's how:

Educate the boys in your family about healthy equal relationships.

The well-being of the young men in your family includes the ability to develop healthy relationships with women and other men.  As such, sharing your values regarding gender equality is just as important as teaching them how to play ball or how to safely cross the road.  Share with them the means through which they can establish relationships that are based on respect, equality, and equal responsibility.    

Accept your role as a man in promoting gender equality.

Recognize that you have a role to play in educating the boys around you about gender equality and healthy relationships.  These are not only “women’s issues” but issues that affect us all, including men and boys.  The vast majority of violence against women and men is committed by men, therefore it is important for you to actively participate in the education of the boys in your family about this issue and model positive and healthy examples of male behaviour. 

Listen to women… learn from women.

Learn about violence and gender inequality by asking a woman who trusts you how violence has affected her life.  Then, if she feels comfortable to talk, sit back and listen.  Turn to your local women’s organizations.  They have a wealth of accumulated experience and knowledge.  Talk to them.  Read their publications.  Contribute financially.  Learn from them. 

Challenge sexism, homophobia, and degrading language. 

The young men in your family are exposed on a daily basis to many examples of sexist behaviour, homophobia, and objectification of women.  Culture is a powerful tool in reinforcing gender stereotypes both for women and men.  Recognize the impact of the media, video games, and popular culture on boys and as such share a new healthier view of masculinity, one that models respect and equality towards women, girls, and other men.  Not speaking up contributes to the silence around these issues, and helps to normalize gender inequality and homophobia. 

Be a good role model.

Your language, behaviour, and interactions with the women and men in your life will have a significant impact on the values and attitudes of the boys around you towards women and girls.  Sharing equally in family responsibilities and chores at family events, being open about your feelings with the women in your life, or publicly questioning negative depictions of women, are ways to demonstrate to the young men in your family that you value women as equals and believe in healthy relationships.  Conversely, laughing at sexist jokes, sharing magazines that objectify women, or remaining silent about violence or injustices against women are behaviours and values that may well end up being adopted by them.

Share your own learning moments. 

Share with the boys in your life remarkable moments or stories about examples of positive learning.  Share a story about a lesson you learned from your parents or family members about healthy relationships; talk about your early interest or empathy towards equality between men and women; or the lessons you learned from a mistake you made.  These are stories you can easily share at the dinner table, at family events, or while driving to an extra-curricular activity. 

Speak of the men and women that made a difference in your life.

Just like you have the capacity to be a positive role model in your family, you can probably identify men and women that had an impact on your values regarding equality between men and women.   Share what these people represent to you, the reasons why they are important, and the values that you admire in them.   You can make a difference by generating further discussion about the benefits and qualities of healthy masculinities.  Point out to the boys and young men in your family that they too have the potential to be good role models for others. 

Speak out about violence against women and other injustices.

An adult male who denounces a violent act towards women or sexist comment witnessed by a younger member of the family can share with him the confidence, language, and skills for him to be able to do the same later on.  Share your thoughts and feelings regarding what happened and talk about how that action was unhealthy or demeaning to women.  On the other hand, remaining silent, or making excuses, helps to normalize sexist behaviour and violence against women.

Align yourself with allies.

Involve your extended family in positive discussions about healthy and equal relationships and show the boys in your life that gender equality is a universally shared value in your family and circle of friends.  Your male family members and friends can help reinforce messages of positive masculinity and act as inspiring role models.  Speak with them ahead of time to help you maximize dialogue with the boys and young men in your life. 

You may not have all the answers.

It’s okay to acknowledge that you don’t know all the answers, that you are not an expert in this topic, and freely admit when you make a mistake.  Let the boys in your life know that you will look for the right information, and will get back to them later on.   Check the links and resources sections of our campaign for additional information, or talk with others.  Acknowledging your feelings and weaknesses is a way to demonstrate how to act constructively in building healthy and equal relationships, and it will reduce the pressure on boys to be “perfect” all the time.

• Tips
• Stories
• Links
• Other Resources